pondering

giving myself 10 minutes to blog and will stop at that. not going to edit nor read through what i have written. Just hope to pen down my thoughts so that i can review them at the end of the year. And this is what this blog is all about. Allowing myself to self reflect.

2 persons that struck me hard today - Ken lai and I -min. I am better off being an employee he said. In a way he is right. But I still respect his determination in keeping the business going. He is one of those rover scouts that i respect for doing things that is way out of his comfort zone. Been working for the past 6 weeks and feels that things are not moving. I am merely taking instructions and executing them. This is unlike myself. I am lacking the drive and passion to do move. Every day seems like a repeat of itself. I need to find the purpose for what i am working on right now. I do not want to dread coming july where i may be and probably be a permanent resident of Ubin. Lots of negative thoughts are going through my head right now. I need to maintain positive. I am losing it. I used to derive it from my venture scouts. And now that they are gone, need to find new source of inspiration to keep me going. Lots to do in the office till a point where i feel things are getting off track. Every day is a dynamic day with new assignments flooding in. I love that but i hate the process where every thing piles up and one begin to lose focus. I cannot, no I MUST, learn to multi task. That has been my weakness and perhaps it is one that cause me to drop from my dream. Painful experience it was. Stop being an employee yongkok, take action and make a difference. You need to step outside ur comfort zone right now, and NOW you must.

I-min. Though i may appear to be aloof earlier on, I am pondering hard over what IM had said. What's your dream? are you working hard enough to achieve them? If you have dream, you will get charged up everyday and everyday you are a step closer to it. He is right. What's my dream? To get into SFC. but what have i done to achieve the goal of mine? perhaps nothing right now. I need to start to work on my goal - to get into SFC in 2 years time. I need to brush up on my presentation skills/ language and also multi tasking capability. To many just now, IM may be talking cock. but at least for me, it strike a chord that I have to start to get focus and work on my goal. Enough of scouting talk right now. have to move on my kok. No point dwelling into the past. Things are not changing and you must learn to let go. Look forward so that you can fly high my kok.

10 minutes up. Time to hit the bed. More updates coming up i believe.

busy hectic life

it's been more than a month since i started typing on blogger once again. Been a busy month working cum enjoying at Asian Detours. The work seems to be endless and everyday, a brand new surprise will pop up. Perhaps that's the working life for you yongkok. Nothing seems constant and I am still not comfortable with that. Though I was roped in as a kayaking specialist, i ended up doing more than that. On one hand I find it rather exciting and I am learning something new everyday; on the other, I cannot seems to focus. New issues are added to the list everyday and frankly, I find it rather tough to juggle everything and make them work at the same time. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

few updates for the past month. Results were great, though wasnt happy with some of the modules. Mods that i put in the most effort din turn out too well. But nonetheless, hope that I will get into DL this sem. Chances are slim but it is this hope that keep me going. =)

Stepping down as a VSL from DSGVU. Finally, I can relinquish all the responsibilities. Perhaps not as i cannot find someone to take up the role. but frankly, I cannot care more already. deadline been set and pass and I will have to move on. I cannot continue to dwell into the past, it will just hinder my development and also that of Mel. Did an kayaking expedition with the ventures last weekend. It was an exciting paddling across the sembawang wharves. More importantly, it were the intangibles that struck me the most. The boys that I have groomed over the 2 years have stepped up to take lead. You can see the difference when they first stepped in as ventures 2 yrs ago. It touched my heart when most of them acknowledged my effort in developing them, in one way or another. I hope that they will be successful in their future endeavours.

Chapters night was an awesome one. It is sure tiring to prepare a BBQ feast for 42 people. Argh.... but it was worth the effort. Everyone enjoyed their night. Thanks Junqi, Melissa, my mom and bro for helping out in the preparation for this BBQ. Without them, I will not have the deserving 2 hours of slp over the 2 days of preparation. in short, it was maddness. the itinerary goes like this. 1) mustafa to get the miscellaneous 2) suntec carrefour to get most of the BBQ food like bacon and drinks. 3) back home at 11pm to prepare. 4) 2.15am head down to fishery port with JQ to ge the seafood. 5) rushed back home to bathe before going to airport to fetch mel. 6) back home at 6am to rest. 7) woke up at 9 to head down to NTUC to settle all the last minute purchase and preparation. 8) head down to GESS at 3pm to prepare. argh......... that concluded the BBQ.

Mel. Been spending whatever time I have with her. Love every moment of it. Her sillyness and cuteness often lift my morale whenever i am low. Thanks mel, though i cannot spend that much time with you. That explains why i do not blog often as almost every night is time spent with her and leaving none for me to blog.

Kayaking - aint coaching much recently since i resume this job a month ago. Lots of adminstrative work and preparatory work. Leaving none for training. spending a little more time with kayaking kakis, which is good. Dont really hang out with them often due to scouts. But now, will have a little more time.

Guess that's all i have to blog. Thoughts seem incoherent but I have lots to blog about. really lots that i wanna write but gotta work tomorrow. Thus am going to stop here.

Anyone wants to be my engrish teacher? wanna pick up creative writing/ speechcraft. always feeling fustrated when i cannot express myself freely ya.