too much kok

The previous post was intended to include the title only....... ended up in a rampage of mindless ranting...

shag..... + need more time

Blogging from school. Have Decided to take a 20 minutes breather before i continue the mad rush for projects and deadlines and kayaking/ scout camp planning.

My body seems to be behaving erratically; i gets hungry 2 hours after every meals, even for heavy ones. The craving for food is so hard to suppress. Is it a sign of stress? Need to curb that if not i will end up like Ganesh or Gavin =). Pui Pui.

Not been doing tutorials. Weekend spent on kayaking and weekdays just spent on doing lab reports and minimal of tutorials. This sem being naughty man, do only perhaps 30% of the tutorials. Getting worried for my results, will I buang it or will it turn out fine? As the exam dates drew closer, I am getting more panicky as there is less time for revision. I get many assurance and comments like aiya, you will turn out fine one la; every sem also like that, nv study still can get above CAP4. Wah liew, that does not come easy k. working 2-3 days a week + 1 free tuition a week + minimal of scouting + Melissa + friend whom I have no time with, regretably + school is like a lethal dose of gradual self destruction. Right now still need to churn out report for discussion later and my brain juice is drying up. Cannot seems to concentrate anymore. need a breather, need some time to recuperate but will I have it?

This is not like kok anymore, kok will never give up. But right now, I am feeling burnt out and guess this will be over when I fly over to SA next yr this time. I must perservere.

I promise that I will do my best ........

has courage in all difficulties.

People, pls do not worry about me, just need some space to vent this out. Will be fine after this.

To mel, love ya lots and I will always make time for you, regardless of how shag things are. For the rest, book appointment first ok! =) maybe except gavin since he seldom comes to singapore. ahaha.... hmmm... since I mentioned Gavin names, the following goes into the exclusion list for appointment booking perhaps: Yalos (though will always be late and leave early), JQ, Ryan, JB, AD. hmmmm.... seems that I do not have a lot of friends hor..... fark it man. At least all these people make a difference in my life. ranting off too much already. 'typing' too much kok already. How i wish that the world has one less of me --> peace.

Hmmm...... time to go already. if not no time to finish my report.

Bottomline : need to spend my time more effectively!

Busy 2 weeks ahead.

Guess won't be blogging again for the next 2 weeks. Busy 2 weeks ahead. Quite afraid that i cannot catch up on my studies man. My Dean List goal how? =)

Kayaking tomorrow for the next two days. Shall end the weekend with a project discussion in school on sunday night (wah Sianz). Monday will be the only free day and gotta rush all the tutorials for the week ( 5 of them) and 1 lab report...

Going for sec 3 camp on Friday, concluding on sat morning. Afternoon need to rush down for the earth hour prep at town area. Guess the event will end around 11pm.

Gotta wake up early the next day to get my ass to Pulau Ubin. Will be there for 5 days conducting a camp. Gonna work with Zhi Rong; it's been a long time...... And the stupid thing is that I need to come out on wed (4th day of camp) to head back to NUS to take an hour test before heading back to Ubin again.

Tiring.... sure it is. But with the goal in mind, I believe that i can persevere through this 2 weeks and many weeks after that (catching up on studies).

That's my busy schedule for the next 2 weeks. Mel, so sorry about that. Guess these 2 weeks you will see less of me. But but but, with TP, things may be different =)

Going back to camp preparation. See ya people.

Oh ya.. managed to spend 2 hours with myself today at Ubin. So happy. How often will i get such opportunity? get paid to spend time with myself.

teamwork = bullshit?

Disappointed.

Disappointed in the choices people make. Where is the value of a TEAM? it seems that the concept of one for all and all for one is diluting.

This is coming from the place where I grew up and it is the people there who groomed me for who I am today. But today I see the direct opposite; the values it uphold are no longer there anymore. What is TEAMWORK? Guess that's bullshit. If you as an individual of the team screw up, you jolly well face the consequences. The team is not going into that mud pool with you. You are on your own. You screw up, you face the music yourself, I am not going with you.

And that is disappointing.

How about promising oneself that I will do my best? Are we doing that? For I see mediocrity in the way things are ran. If I as the leader do not demand high standards for myself, how can I influence others to do likewise?

I am going into the mode of automatic negativity. Yes I know that but I cannot seems to be able to break out of this. I guess the easy way out is to walk away from it for there are many other more important goals that I have to fulfill.

It is a pity but with the 24 hours I have, I rather spend it on something/ someone that reap more satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.

Kayaking tomorrow

Getting excited about tomorrow. Looking forward to all my kayaking sessions. Guess it is because of the attitude that i am adopting? dun really see myself working as a coach but developing as a leader. Every session present itself differently and i love the challenges. Kenneth, if you manage to read this, stay cool. You did well last week. I am impressed by the confidence you displayed. Believe that you will develop into one fine coach. Just happened that the condition is not favourable for coaching? And when will the conditions be ideal? it will never will. But at least we learned something from this session and this is what matter most.

Looking forward to work with you for the AD camp coming up!

If anyone is keen to paddle, just gimme a buzz yeah!

Time to check out. Need to plan for tomorrow session.

Mel is so cute!

Earth Hour

Join the movement. Even for an hour. If we can preserve Gaia an hour longer, why not?

Life Without Limbs

Life is never about smooth sailing. Many a times, we find ourselves at the bottom of the pits. But I am glad that during those times, I have my four limbs to crawl me out of my misery and start to scale towards the highest of mountains.

The above reminds me to be grateful for what I have and appreciate the simple beauty of life.

Sometimes, we just need someone to be in the pit lower than us to assure us how fortunate we are. For that, we gain belief that if he can make it, why not me.

But all these(pits) are just perspectives. Images you paint inside your head. I believe that for Nick Vujicic, his life is never more well-lived than this; for he sees positivity in every adversity.

Feeling Loved

oh ya, this supposed to be the title for the previous post. Arrr...... side tracked.

Just wanna you to know that I cannot live without you Mel. Enjoyed every moment with you, be it silly, naughty, nonsensical or seriously serious. Maybe that is the reason why i seldom blog recently?

=)

Loved by Mel

Many Weeks of updates

These few weeks have been great, though busy. Will be saving up for big plans and hence you will often hear me saying that i am off for work. I guess this is a good time to go back to coaching, something that I enjoyed and have no time to do so. With the plan in mind, I can coach and earn moola at the same time, so shiok.

Scouting wise, has been taking a back seat and ready to hand over in June. To who? I don't know and no one seems to care. I have done my part and communicate but efforts seem to be futile. Can't be bothered about such petty stuff anymore. Just find it a pity that there is no one next in line to take over the appointment for i believe many are afraid of the commitment and skills incompetency. The latter can be trained if one is willing i believe, it is the former that many have doubts about. That aside, deep down, i do hope that i have made a difference in their lives (those whom i have taken before).

School work, midst of midterms. First paper today was easy peasey. tomorrow paper hmmm.... don't really understand. Despite that, will still strive for the best for this term. It is an important term as it will determine how hard I will have to work for the next few sems. First Class seems so near yet so far and this sem will determine whether it will be within reach yeah.

Kayaking, woa ho ho. been coaching every weekend and every weekend is a new learning experience. Although i may be coaching for many years, i still learn a lot from coaches from various club. Enjoyed that. Find that I would rather teach a 2 star course than a 1 star course for it is more technical. Engineering has also indeed helped me to understand the hydrodynamics and the physics of paddling. Can you imagine me visualising the forces acting on the blade everytime i dip the blade of the paddle into the water. WAH! I am indeed an engineering freak - or applied science as my lecturer has put it during lect today.

Don't know what am i ranting about already. the involuntary movement of my fingers' muscles seems to be working non stop while the brain has stopped functioning few minutes back. Writing rubbish already. Shall halt this before it becomes a post of gibberish. Night everybody.