.:YongKok:.: September 2008

Back

1 week of holidays zoomed past just like that. The hour hand just gotta make another 36 revolutions and I will be back in school. Nevermind about that, since we cannot make the hour hand tick to the other direction.

2 incidents happened recently that make me ponder about what am I currently doing with my life? Am I living it to the fullest or am I just allowing the days to pass by without spending every minute of it wisely and fruitfully.

Been ill for the past one month. Started when I ran the half marathon with a serious flu. Nights of fever and chills ensue shortly after. It became a month of regular visits to the doc, blood tests and consumption of paracetamol as though they are a staple. Never in my life have I ever consumed so many tablets of panadols. Goes the panadols and comes the antibiotics to battle against the micro organisms inside my body. Will be seeing the specialist soon to see what's wrong within my body. (Thanks to Colin and Jessica for your professional medical advice. It did help to allay some of my fears.) And that's number one!

The next incident came unexpectedly. One of my relatives was diagnosed with cancer and it is in her final stage. Com'on, she is just 41! But I guess nothing is fair in this life. As the saying goes, We cannot change the direction of the wind but we can adjust our sails. We will just have to face this bravely and positively together. Negativity will just fuel the growth of the cancerous cells.

These two incidents have sent a wake up call to me. Am I living my life as if it is the last? I guess I have not. If Buddha is to take away my life now, I will have much much much much regrets. And thus Yong kok you have to start to live your life as if it is the last few days of your life. I have to be more kind and understanding to people around me, especially those who are close to me. My parents, my brother and Melissa. And also, I will also need to take more control of my life and stop being a phlegmatic. I am losing my confident self and going into a hibernation mode where anything goes. Need to get out of this mode!

Getting sleeply, apologies for ending this post abruptly. But who cares, it is my blog anyway. =P

Downtime

Been ill for a long time. will blog when health gets better.

Time with yourself

Finally I get the meaning of it. It took me quite a while right mel. I thought that actively participating in activities, especially those which involve just me and myself are ways to spend time with myself. I was proven wrong today. Today, I've indeed spent time with myself, enjoying the serenity one quiet afternoon can provide. Appreciating simple things around me, things that I have not paid particularly close attention to in my last 23 years. Appreciating the tinkles of the wind chime under the comfort of the sofa. At the same time, easing one's soul by immersing oneself in the river of the soothing music. What a heaven! The two hours I had with myself this afternoon allowed me to find peace within, amidst all the buzz surrounding me 24/7. Ended off the wonderful afternoon by watching the movie - Flags of our Fathers.

Awesome movie i must say, directed by Clint Eastwood and produced by Steven Spielberg. It depicts how the US government used 'war heroes' as propaganda to lift the morale of the Americans, and raise funds for the war efforts. It also shares with us the effect of war on the veterans, and how they have suffered from the painful memories of the war.

Something that struck me hard was the heroes part. Heroes are created to instill faith and hope in people, and many of us will definitely like to be one. However, the overnight fame is like a fab/ novelty, it came and it went, as quickly as it possible could. And how many people will remember you after that? I've always wanted to become someone famous when I am much younger but I rather not be one now. Over the years, I come to understand that no one cares how much you know (or how famous you are) unless you show them how much you care. Forget about being famous, rather be someone that people will remember you for for you have impacted their lives, positively definitely. I will strive to achieve that.

Final Question: Just name 5 names right now. Are they names of famous people are are they names of people who have made a difference in your life? Will you like your name to be in there, in the case of someone elses' list?

Pioneering! found by panda

Definitely will like to build this one of these days. Any one wants to join me?

My dear friend

Dear friend G,

I know that you are currently struggling with your life right now. I can only imagine what you are going through right now. I am in no right to air my opinions of what you should do. Filial piety against pursuing your own dreams. It is a tough decision. You have to decide for yourself. All I can say is that no matter what happens, Junqi and I will be there to support you and do approach us if you need any help. We will do our very best to help =).

Start to do something that you enjoy. Start to write a book, something you always wanted to do. by doing so, you may be able to rekindle some of the amber within yourself, which has lost its glow after these few years of mundane work you are involved in.

Let's go on another trip again? =) looking forward meeting you once again.

Nike Human Race

Back from the Nike Plus Human Run. This blog post is dedicated to my dear. Just wanna apologise for not been a great partner runner. Gave you a lot of undue pressure while running. Perhaps at times I should just treat you like any other normal human being. Always set high standards for you and am not very tolerant when you failed to meet them. You have always been my motivation and that in return raised my expectations of you. You always do well and maybe that's why I expect nothing short of a perfection from you.

Thought a lot during the race. I know that I should be encouraging and motivating but I can't seems to do that. Will have to look into this. Perhaps you need some where/ some one whom you can rely on and seek refuge from the competitive world out there, where you always excel. Will work towards that and will provide you with a safe haven where you can rest and detach yourself from the rat run out there. Love you dear.