I miss him

Haven been posting due to work and internship. Every day, work starts at 830am - 6pm, followed by tuition. Though working hours are long, i enjoyed this period.

2 weeks have passed, I still think of him every day. He is one man whom I respect a lot. For his foresight, knowledge, attitude and interpersonal skills. Stories of heroism and altruism of his shared during the wake showed me the other side of him; days when he was much younger.

His 'down to earth' and 'going down to your level' approach in the army had him forged many lasting friendships among his peers and also admiration from the younger generation of soldiers.

This incident has changed my perspective of life. Some changes that I have noticed during this transition.

I have become more appreciative of people around us.

I have begin to place family before work. Money can be earned but time loss is not.

I have somehow grow to like vegetarian food for they are healthier to both the soul and the body.

I am closer to my mum in law now.

Reaffirming me not to live a life with regrets and making everyday counts.

Though he is no longer around, I am still able to feel his presence and that he is watching over us. I have drawn a new strength from him - never to say fallen. He combated the enemies within him for the past 6 years and he had put up a victorious fight. Now, the battle has been won and it is time for him to retreat back to his abode.

His legacy will live on. You are always in our memories.

Thank you for the good times and entrusting Melissa to me.

For a start

perhaps for a start, instead of lamenting. I should look forward to every day and make the best out of it.

Life

Friends graduating and looking for jobs, completed their one phase of life and moving on to the next. Though I am 1 year from graduation, I am feeling lost moving on to the working world. I started to question myself about the meaning of life. What is it exactly? Why are we struggling to survive in this world, in the battle of survival of the fittest. So at the end of the day in our deathbed, what did I achieve. I am reaching the 1/4 of my life and felt that I have achieved nothing. A feeling of emptiness. Looking through facebook and though interaction with some of my colleagues overseas, some of them 'seem' to find their aim in life. So what's mine? Sloughing through tuitions and work assignments to coaching sessions do earn me some cash but am I happy? I doubt so, though I am glad to have mel by my side. I am not feeling purposeful. Looking at my dive master and the photographer in the recent phuket trip, they are pursued their passion and am now doing things that they enjoyed, or at least that is how it seems to me. 

I was sharing with mel how one works so hard for a year just for a short 2 weeks (not even 2 for some) of retreat to somewhere. Very much that I will like to pursue my passion for travelling, I am not able to do it due to a magnitude of reasons. But are they excuses for me not to fulfill my calling in life. I want to break free. Many a times, the fear of falling prevents me from achieving that. Why am I saving so hard right now, should I not be enjoying my uni life? ( looking back, I achieved zero sense of achievement in NUS, absolutely. Perhaps results is the only consolation, though that is not my priority anymore) I am always pulled back to the reality and practicality of life. Am I able to break free of that? and in doing that, will I not be  fair to mel and my family. I have friends who went to pursue their passion, earning meagre pay. May be able to self sustain but definitely not so in supporting the family in any way. 

I am still searching.... for my calling in life. I found it the last time, and I let it go. I want to do greater things. I want to be remembered by people around me. I want to leave a legacy to people that I have impacted. How to? Still searching. Need to spend more time to reflect (which I do not have the luxury of. Then again, it is me who decides to max out my time table).

Gotta hit the books soon. Am penning this down so that I can do some reflections after my exams. 

Short trip to Phuket =)

Decided to blog for a bit before I start on my revision for the upcoming tests. Hope that I can jot this experience in Thailand down on this short post.

Day 1 - Day 5
Working as safety personnel for a corporate event. It was a good experience though working hours are long. Nonetheless, I have great fun working with such a great crew. Most important of all, I was greeted by the comfortable bed every night at Hilton. 2 memorable experiences: The coral island where we did the sea activity day for them was beautiful. And also, we were at the backstage with the performers from the Famous Simon Cabaret. Some of the ah gua are really beautiful! too bad that they were guys before. haiz.

Day 5
End of program. We downgraded ourselves to a perhaps 3 star hotel (Patong Premier Resort) in Patong? It is cheap, only 72 per night and the standard surpassed my expectations. Pretty decent place. Will definitely recommend to anyone going to Patong, Phuket, Thailand. First thing we did, DINNER and MASSAGE! A cannot-be-missed activity in Thailand. We went for clean one can. We did massage for almost every night. It cost 250 - 500 Baht. around 10 - 20SGD. Quite affordable and they offer good and clean service =). Traditional Thai Massage was a little too much for me, went for oil massage. Threshold for pain not that high as compared to Kenneth, who savours the thrill of pain infliction.

Day 6
Went on a kayaking trip (short 40 minutes sessions). James bond Island was first. I do not understand why that place is a tourist attraction. Island hop to Panak Island and Hong Island for a kayaking session. We bargained with the operator to allow us to kayak alone. After seeing our persistence, the friendly thai operators gave in, warning us that we will bear any damages if there is. Argh!!!! When paddling around Panak through a sea cave, our inflatable kayak scraped the bottom. We got worried as the kayak began to flood as we paddled along. Fortunately, the flooding was due to the faulty valve on the kayak, no damage sustained from the abrasion. =)

Day 7
Went diving at Similan Islands. Woah shiok. When was the last time I dived? in 2002!!! Was apprehensive when I first went in. A lot of what-ifs questions. However, they were erased when I was greeted by the alluring sight deep down. And you hear nothing but your exhalation through your regulator. Cannot wait to dive again! After 2 dives, we concluded our day with dinner back in Patong. Poor Kenneth suffered from reverse blocked due to the diving session, with that lasting for a week. We then decided to give the massage session a miss for the night.

Day 8
Went scooter biking around Phuket. We spent 2 hours roaming around Chalong trying to look for the Jim Thompson Outlet. The roads were a sure maze because we did not understand the signages. After getting our gifts from JT, we decided to head up the hill to visit the Big Buddha our Phuket. While riding up the steep (45 degrees) slope, my bike cannot tahan anymore and gave up on me. It scared the shit out of me and ken. Later did we realise that the bike was powerful enough to climb the slope. While riding up, I somehow had the feeling that we were not welcomed by the temple.

Went to Bangla Road that night. For those who knows what it is, that's great! For those who don't, it is a street filled with night club. Went there and felt nostalgic. Went there in 2005 with Ryan and Raymond. Nothing much; had a drink, went for massage and head back to hotel. Most happening bars were having bar top dancing, which did not appeal to us (are we real man?!?!??!).

Day 9
Packed our bags and head to the Premier Outlets. Though the factory outlets carry many brands, the selection seems limited. Got myself a portable BBQ set (scouting instinct) and some apparels for mel and famil(ies). Rushed to the airport after the purchases. In my attempt to lighten the check-in luggage, I transferred all my barangs barangs into my carry in bag. Argh, leatherman went in as well. I was thinking, shit! there goes my leatherman and mel will kill me! Fortunately, the guard was kind enough to allow me to check in the leatherman with my carry on bag. Phew!

All in all, great trip!

Thanks for the experience guys. Namely, Asian Detours - Nicole, Colin and RX (for conducting the ever-so-fun EFR refresher course), Kenneth and Kian Seng - my travelling companions and Mel - for missing me and praying for my return =)

Check out my facebook for my pictures!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=210853&id=577430201

Memories (TSB)

This photo is one of the numerous that form part of my desktop display. Stared for it for a long time and a strong sense of nostalgia engulfed me. Though I have not seen some of them for the longest time, I believe that each and everyone in the picture has moved on and do well in life, or rather successful in their own rights. This will be impossible without the guidance from the skipper then, John Poon. Though we all had our bad times together, he, without any doubts, guided us and groomed us to survive in the real world. I have been fortunate to be able to work under his helm and I believe my peers and brothers in scouting cannot agree more. I envisaged to be like him when I led the venture scouts few years back, for this is how I was being brought up. Hopefully, some time down the road, some one will turn back and smile at me, offering a simple thank you for all I have done. Just like what John Poon has done back then. JP may not be able to see this but many of my peers have told me, one way or another, that sea scouting has shaped their lives and how they are thankful for the experience. To share some with you:

1) Illyas - back in JC, he went on to become a long distance runner and he is grateful for the tough training he received in scouting to see him through the mental game of long distance running.

2) Thinesh - went on to become a naval officer (commercial) and he surprised us with that.

3) Daren Tan - our Champion of the Project Superstar

And for those in the pictures (Left to right, second row):

1) Mervyn - Pursuing mech engineering in NTU 

2) John Poon - Our leader!

3) Myself - Pursing mech engineering in NUS

4) Illyas - lost contact

5) Kenneth - happily married and should be a investment banker I think

6) Zhi Rong - Pilot with Silkair

(Left to right, first row)

1) Yi Peng - Recipent of the Lee Kwan Yew Award

2) Jun Qi - Pursuing civil engineering in NUS

3) Gavin - businessman in Jakarta

4) Jonning - Graduate with a masters in Product design

That's something unique about scouting and it is not something everyone can experience unless they are in it. My time is due and I will definitely look back with pride.

Thank you JP and everyone in TSB for making this journey a life changing one for me.

It pains me

It pains me when u fret over school and stuff while i remain helpless here in my own busy world. Hoping so much that i can be of some help to you but our hectic time tables are not helping.

Hope that u can tide over and next week will be a better week for you. Miss you my dear.

Persevere and stay positive. I will make time to hold your hand to walk this journey together, as promised.

=)

back to books!

Chinese New Year

1 week of holidays zoomed past before i have the chance to bat my eyelid. Guess that's life. Time flies when one is enjoying. Sunday was spent visiting and it was great to see my relatives once again. did some catch ups and gambling too.

Monday to friday was spent on hosting mel's relative from Nanjing and also bits of visiting here and there. Interacting with them has made me realised this:

The world is moving at such a fast pace that we have no time to know one another better, especially if that is a stranger. Thus we use generalisation to size people up. That's when ethnocentrism and stereotyping kicks in as we set up our defence against someone whom we do not know. But many a times, we fail to see that each person is unique though they may/ may not fall into the descriptions. Through interaction with them, I can feel the warmth and kinship. They are so different from those tiongs I meet in school, or rather the latter was prejudged and ostracized before having the chance to develop the friendship further. 

School starting tomorrow. Another 2 months long of a race before a nice break awaits. Cant wait for my phuket trip few weeks from now. Another good break from school. Will be there for some program. Good time to catch up with friends as well.